last post?

This might very well be my last post for quite some time. why? my life is just too crazy to keep up. you can check in every once in a while to see if i have updated. i just don't know when. basically, i've decided to go back to school for baking and pastry. i just started last week. i'm still working full time so it's been tough. and it's just going to get worse. i'm not doing a show right now, but i'm kinda committed to three shows next year. no leads, but some decent roles. i can always turn it down, as right now, school is before theatre. and i might not be able to do theatre for quite some time. which is alright! because i'm finally going to do something i enjoy and hopefully i'll be able to do some theatre on the side. next year will be my last year with the company. so that's what's going on and taking over! wish me luck!

Blithe Spirit

only two more weeks until we open! am i nervous? HECK YEAH! i was nervous 4 weeks ago! "Ruth" has so many lines, i didn't know what i was getting myself into! yeah, i've always wanted a lead, but this is like a LEAD role! since it is upperclass british, 1940s, there are a lot of words! or maybe it's just how my character is. for instance, i can't just say "i would rather there were not misunderstandings between us" i say " i really would so much rather that there were no misunderstandings between us." and yes, that is one of my struggling lines. i mean, really? do i really need to say all that? but it's getting there. the guy that plays opposite from me is fantastic! not only as an actor, but as a fellow thespian. he has been so supportive and patient with me and my lines. he's even been meeting with me two hours before rehearsals to work on lines. he's helped me figure out ways to make the line make sense in my head. he's been fabulous to work with. and last night i think it finally paid off. i still struggled on some of my lines, but only because i have like 100,000,000 of them, but the one scene we have together had our director almost speechless. he had nothing bad to say about it and just couldn't find all the words he wanted to say about it. it was great! it's really come a long way, and we still have two weeks to make it better!!! Hope you are able to make it! we open october 3rd, and run every weekend through the 31st. please visit www.gaslighttheatrecompany.com to get tickets!

i remembered the third!

i do know of a third person who is getting a divorce! (don't know what i'm talking about? read blog before) i have a coworker who is getting a divorce. they have three young kids which really sucks, but i guess he's just using her now and it's just ugly... why are guys such jerks? errr... ok, that's not necessarily true. not ALL guys... anyway, another person i just want to give a hug to and tell her everything will be ok!!!!

lunch break! breakups!

yeah, not really in the mood to be with people today. that's not always the best when you are stuck in a locked room (don't worry, i can get out!) with 8 other people. so i take my lunch at my desk. at least have of them are at the cafe, and the other half are quiet.
i think august was the month of breakups! they always say it happens on threes. i don't really have a third unless i count my friend's friends who seperated last month as well. my neighbors are getting a divorce. i totally lost respect for him. they just celebrated their 9 yr anniversary, and what does he do? has an affair with a co-worker. i never thought these two had issues. it actually was quite a shock for her as well. she thought they had a great life together, and were going to start trying for kids soon... guess that's not happening. but my husband and i have lost all respect for him. i just don't understand how people can do that to eachother! oh it just makes me mad.
then there's my friend from the theatre company. again, they seemed happy! pretty much in love with eachother, enjoyed eachother's company... but then something happened. don't know what yet. but they broke up. they were engaged. he will be leaving for NYC again soon. he is so not a CO boy. definitely belongs in the city. yeah...
anyone else break up last month? the only good outcome on these, is it give my husband and i a new perspective on our relationship. we know it's good. we know we love each other, but it just reminds us of what we take for advantage, a loving steady relationship. it makes us love each other more i guess... respect eachother more. it just sucks to see everyone around you break up while you live the happy life... i don't know. i just had to blog that as it still rides on my mind how, in a day, your life can change forever. i just want to hug my friends and tell them it will be ok... so here's my hug! {-------------------------------------------------------------------------------}

sleepless nights

i've been debating over the past month on whether i should keep my blog or not. seeing as i haven't written in it since the end of march. i guess my life got a little busy. and now i am facing my 4th restless night since being back from vacation and finding my thoughts circling in my head even more so tonight than any other night this week.so i guess it's good that i didn't close it yet, so i can sit here and get those crazy thoughts out of my head. or at least damper them. see, we just had a company member with the theatre quit. she has hit on everyone's buttons and i guess one final argument with the artistic director made her part ways. which is for the better, as she was not happy. in her decision to quit, she decided to email the entire company (which is only 10) explanations as to why she was how she was, what we did wrong, accused us of things and pretty much got my mind a thinking. i think what bothers me most about it is that she accused me of blaming her for certain things, that i did not do. and that just doesn't sit well with me. i can't even justify myself as she does not want to hear from any of us again. there were many things that bothered me (CAUTION: don't read these kind of emails before going to bed as this is what happens) which are now keeping me up and have brought me to this computer. we had a production meeting for the children's theatre, which she was not the director of, but was involved in. during this meeting, the director said some things that she did not agree with as to what she wants for the show. so in this email, she is frustrated becuase no one else, basically, didn't take either side on the issue. my thing is, i'm just a props mistress. it's the director's show. if she wants these things her way, that's her call. the only one(s) that i feel should have any say would be the artistic and executive directors. if i've said all these things about her, but she felt like not saying anything because she loves me so much, why would she love me? why car about someone so much who talks about you behind your back? i will admit. i did say some things (but not the direct things she was refering to) behind her back. and i hate myself for it for not being man (woman i guess) enought to confront her on it. and for being the two faced person i don't want to be. i do enjoy working on stage with this woman. but there are just some things that just shouldn't be done, and i should've said something. but i'm a sissy and just let it all build up and vent to other people that i probably shouldn't have instead of saying it to her. so i'm baffled as to how she could love me so much when in reality i am a terrible terrible person! and i hate that person! she also mentions about how not drinking alcohol at the theatre was in our contracts. and yes, we, including the artistic and executive directors, were drinking on occational nights while or after working on the sets. and she mentioned something at one of those moments to me. and i didn't remember reading about it. and so, as i mentioned my mind in circles, it brought me to having a pretend converstion with her about how i don't have a good memory. and she would say "then do something about it". and then i would say i can't fix what i don't have. memory. and then it brings me back to those terrible school days where i would study and study and study and not remember enough to pass the tests. yet i can remember the wierdest oddest things. and some how (2 months later) have my lines memorized in time for opening night. i just don't understand my brain. and then it got me all upset and that is how i ended up writing a blog this late at night. probably doesn't help that i ate dinner very late as well... sigh. so i'm still debating on keeping the blog going. i doubt anyone reads it anymore anyway. but that's not the point of blogs, right? it's for my own personal entertainment, and if others read it, it's just a benefit. oh, and i also got bit by mosquitos last night, in bed mind you. and now they are all itchy again along with 3 new ones i recieved in my car. at least that's where the first itching began. and this is another reason as to why i am still up at midnight. i think i will try some milk. at this rate though, i'm going to be one cranky person come sunday. if i get any decent sleep on thursday, i'm still going to be super tired on saturday as we have to be in the mountains by 6:30 am. it's at least an hour and a half drive of where we need to be. and you know what else bothers me? i try to be such a good person and i feel like i always seem to fail at this! maybe that's why i don't have any friends out here. i just a terrible person and no one wants to spend time with me. that just sucks! i've been out here for over two years now, and i don't have a single person that i think i could just call up and say "hey, lets go out!" and that makes living out here so very hard. see! a circle. are you dizzy too?

sooo shouldn't do this

i am blogging while taking bath. yeah, that's totally safe! i must say, it was a rough week and this bath is well deserved. we opened the first play for gaslight theatre company! it was very successful and we actually almost sold out! it was very exciting. my job as props for this show is almost over. i have to get newspapers that everyone keeps complaining about. oh my gosh, i won't even go on to that subject right now. i'll just say that i wish people would understand that it is not thier theatre to run, and not thier show to perform. we have to work with what we have.. ok, with that said, i'm glad i donn't have to spend days making stuff, spending hours in dry dusty antique stores (which by the way is the BEST place to find peroid pieces! i am relaxing today and paying bills and be with my puppy. unfortunately my hubby had to work today, i hardly even get to see him... oh well. the good news aboout this show running, is 1. i can go home after work this month, 2 rehearsals for the next show will start! yes, i will miss this show, but luckily most of the cast will be in the next one! and it's going to be a whole new experience for us, as it will be a different director. sigh. i think i'm going to end this now and refresh my hot water...