last post?

This might very well be my last post for quite some time. why? my life is just too crazy to keep up. you can check in every once in a while to see if i have updated. i just don't know when. basically, i've decided to go back to school for baking and pastry. i just started last week. i'm still working full time so it's been tough. and it's just going to get worse. i'm not doing a show right now, but i'm kinda committed to three shows next year. no leads, but some decent roles. i can always turn it down, as right now, school is before theatre. and i might not be able to do theatre for quite some time. which is alright! because i'm finally going to do something i enjoy and hopefully i'll be able to do some theatre on the side. next year will be my last year with the company. so that's what's going on and taking over! wish me luck!

Blithe Spirit

only two more weeks until we open! am i nervous? HECK YEAH! i was nervous 4 weeks ago! "Ruth" has so many lines, i didn't know what i was getting myself into! yeah, i've always wanted a lead, but this is like a LEAD role! since it is upperclass british, 1940s, there are a lot of words! or maybe it's just how my character is. for instance, i can't just say "i would rather there were not misunderstandings between us" i say " i really would so much rather that there were no misunderstandings between us." and yes, that is one of my struggling lines. i mean, really? do i really need to say all that? but it's getting there. the guy that plays opposite from me is fantastic! not only as an actor, but as a fellow thespian. he has been so supportive and patient with me and my lines. he's even been meeting with me two hours before rehearsals to work on lines. he's helped me figure out ways to make the line make sense in my head. he's been fabulous to work with. and last night i think it finally paid off. i still struggled on some of my lines, but only because i have like 100,000,000 of them, but the one scene we have together had our director almost speechless. he had nothing bad to say about it and just couldn't find all the words he wanted to say about it. it was great! it's really come a long way, and we still have two weeks to make it better!!! Hope you are able to make it! we open october 3rd, and run every weekend through the 31st. please visit www.gaslighttheatrecompany.com to get tickets!

i remembered the third!

i do know of a third person who is getting a divorce! (don't know what i'm talking about? read blog before) i have a coworker who is getting a divorce. they have three young kids which really sucks, but i guess he's just using her now and it's just ugly... why are guys such jerks? errr... ok, that's not necessarily true. not ALL guys... anyway, another person i just want to give a hug to and tell her everything will be ok!!!!

lunch break! breakups!

yeah, not really in the mood to be with people today. that's not always the best when you are stuck in a locked room (don't worry, i can get out!) with 8 other people. so i take my lunch at my desk. at least have of them are at the cafe, and the other half are quiet.
i think august was the month of breakups! they always say it happens on threes. i don't really have a third unless i count my friend's friends who seperated last month as well. my neighbors are getting a divorce. i totally lost respect for him. they just celebrated their 9 yr anniversary, and what does he do? has an affair with a co-worker. i never thought these two had issues. it actually was quite a shock for her as well. she thought they had a great life together, and were going to start trying for kids soon... guess that's not happening. but my husband and i have lost all respect for him. i just don't understand how people can do that to eachother! oh it just makes me mad.
then there's my friend from the theatre company. again, they seemed happy! pretty much in love with eachother, enjoyed eachother's company... but then something happened. don't know what yet. but they broke up. they were engaged. he will be leaving for NYC again soon. he is so not a CO boy. definitely belongs in the city. yeah...
anyone else break up last month? the only good outcome on these, is it give my husband and i a new perspective on our relationship. we know it's good. we know we love each other, but it just reminds us of what we take for advantage, a loving steady relationship. it makes us love each other more i guess... respect eachother more. it just sucks to see everyone around you break up while you live the happy life... i don't know. i just had to blog that as it still rides on my mind how, in a day, your life can change forever. i just want to hug my friends and tell them it will be ok... so here's my hug! {-------------------------------------------------------------------------------}

sleepless nights

i've been debating over the past month on whether i should keep my blog or not. seeing as i haven't written in it since the end of march. i guess my life got a little busy. and now i am facing my 4th restless night since being back from vacation and finding my thoughts circling in my head even more so tonight than any other night this week.so i guess it's good that i didn't close it yet, so i can sit here and get those crazy thoughts out of my head. or at least damper them. see, we just had a company member with the theatre quit. she has hit on everyone's buttons and i guess one final argument with the artistic director made her part ways. which is for the better, as she was not happy. in her decision to quit, she decided to email the entire company (which is only 10) explanations as to why she was how she was, what we did wrong, accused us of things and pretty much got my mind a thinking. i think what bothers me most about it is that she accused me of blaming her for certain things, that i did not do. and that just doesn't sit well with me. i can't even justify myself as she does not want to hear from any of us again. there were many things that bothered me (CAUTION: don't read these kind of emails before going to bed as this is what happens) which are now keeping me up and have brought me to this computer. we had a production meeting for the children's theatre, which she was not the director of, but was involved in. during this meeting, the director said some things that she did not agree with as to what she wants for the show. so in this email, she is frustrated becuase no one else, basically, didn't take either side on the issue. my thing is, i'm just a props mistress. it's the director's show. if she wants these things her way, that's her call. the only one(s) that i feel should have any say would be the artistic and executive directors. if i've said all these things about her, but she felt like not saying anything because she loves me so much, why would she love me? why car about someone so much who talks about you behind your back? i will admit. i did say some things (but not the direct things she was refering to) behind her back. and i hate myself for it for not being man (woman i guess) enought to confront her on it. and for being the two faced person i don't want to be. i do enjoy working on stage with this woman. but there are just some things that just shouldn't be done, and i should've said something. but i'm a sissy and just let it all build up and vent to other people that i probably shouldn't have instead of saying it to her. so i'm baffled as to how she could love me so much when in reality i am a terrible terrible person! and i hate that person! she also mentions about how not drinking alcohol at the theatre was in our contracts. and yes, we, including the artistic and executive directors, were drinking on occational nights while or after working on the sets. and she mentioned something at one of those moments to me. and i didn't remember reading about it. and so, as i mentioned my mind in circles, it brought me to having a pretend converstion with her about how i don't have a good memory. and she would say "then do something about it". and then i would say i can't fix what i don't have. memory. and then it brings me back to those terrible school days where i would study and study and study and not remember enough to pass the tests. yet i can remember the wierdest oddest things. and some how (2 months later) have my lines memorized in time for opening night. i just don't understand my brain. and then it got me all upset and that is how i ended up writing a blog this late at night. probably doesn't help that i ate dinner very late as well... sigh. so i'm still debating on keeping the blog going. i doubt anyone reads it anymore anyway. but that's not the point of blogs, right? it's for my own personal entertainment, and if others read it, it's just a benefit. oh, and i also got bit by mosquitos last night, in bed mind you. and now they are all itchy again along with 3 new ones i recieved in my car. at least that's where the first itching began. and this is another reason as to why i am still up at midnight. i think i will try some milk. at this rate though, i'm going to be one cranky person come sunday. if i get any decent sleep on thursday, i'm still going to be super tired on saturday as we have to be in the mountains by 6:30 am. it's at least an hour and a half drive of where we need to be. and you know what else bothers me? i try to be such a good person and i feel like i always seem to fail at this! maybe that's why i don't have any friends out here. i just a terrible person and no one wants to spend time with me. that just sucks! i've been out here for over two years now, and i don't have a single person that i think i could just call up and say "hey, lets go out!" and that makes living out here so very hard. see! a circle. are you dizzy too?

sooo shouldn't do this

i am blogging while taking bath. yeah, that's totally safe! i must say, it was a rough week and this bath is well deserved. we opened the first play for gaslight theatre company! it was very successful and we actually almost sold out! it was very exciting. my job as props for this show is almost over. i have to get newspapers that everyone keeps complaining about. oh my gosh, i won't even go on to that subject right now. i'll just say that i wish people would understand that it is not thier theatre to run, and not thier show to perform. we have to work with what we have.. ok, with that said, i'm glad i donn't have to spend days making stuff, spending hours in dry dusty antique stores (which by the way is the BEST place to find peroid pieces! i am relaxing today and paying bills and be with my puppy. unfortunately my hubby had to work today, i hardly even get to see him... oh well. the good news aboout this show running, is 1. i can go home after work this month, 2 rehearsals for the next show will start! yes, i will miss this show, but luckily most of the cast will be in the next one! and it's going to be a whole new experience for us, as it will be a different director. sigh. i think i'm going to end this now and refresh my hot water...

Miss Willie and me...

now don't take that title the wrong way! it is short for willimenia. and i totally spelled it wrong. it's my character in "the curious Savage". tonight was one of those nights that every true actor looks forward to. yes, we are still on script, so full character mode is handicapped by a book in your hand. but a character still needs to be present. i had these certain moments where Miss Willie was there. there were points, and i got commented on them, where i just did things. it's what she would do. i was just being her. and i was her. and then i get complimented on my entrance, or a look i gave, or a way i said a line. and to be honest, i don't quite remember what i did. probably becuase she did it. not me. so i just have to hope she brings it again to rehearsal. and i've got to get off book. although i have recieved compliments from the director t hat he can tell i really worked hard on my character, when in reality, i just read the lines between work and rehearsal, in a restaurant. can't really speak them out loud. i just have to trust MW will get me through this and we will become great as one...

i'm addicted...

and it's driving my husband nutz! my new (old) laptop stays right next to the couch. i'm almost always on it. and tonight i started playing internet games. yeah. i almost didn't want to quit! i think it's even effecting the dog! hmm... i just can't help it! it's here. there's nothing on... why not play! and now i am writing this to ease my mind of the games... but i don't think it's working. i must go to bed soon though because i HAVE to get up tomorrow morning to go to kickboxing. with the late hours of work, then going to rehearsal, then eating when i get home,,, not healthy. i must find a better way of doing things or i will be double my weight by the time the show opens. ok, probably not, but i do need to do something.
i talked to my best friend today. i'm going to see her this summer and i can't wait! last time i saw both her and her daugher was when i got married. actually, that's pretty much the last time i saw most of my ohio friends... hmmm... oh, ohio friends, i'm coming home in july! yeay!!! we must get together!
ok. i must give my puppy some cuddle time, and then i'm off to bed. good night crazy world. i will see you in the morning...

thoughts in the night

i was laying here reading my lines and started thinking about this role compared to other roles. this one's more serious. she doesn't have the little crazy things almost all my other characters had. then i started thinking about energy. how am i to get this calm character to have energy on stage? i do believe this will be one of the great challenges with this role. then i started reminissing on my other roles and the notes i recieved in the past. and i remember one very distinctly. i was in oklahoma. i was a dancer, and danced the can can scene. although i was not one of the three main dancers for that sequence. there were four of us that were not. and we each came on stage at different times, stood in a pose until it was time for all of us to dance. the director of this show is a fabulous director, and well respected. he's not one to point out a specific person and compliment them in front of the entire cast. let me just tell you what happened.
being a can can girl, i figured they were pretty seductive. so i thought to myself how would i stand if i were a real can can? so i go through some poses in my mind and decided when i got on stage to but my right hand on my hip, cross my left hand over to the right hand, and stand leaning a little to the right. and had a look only a can can can have on my face. and i stuck with that pose. but what i didn't realize was i was even walking to that position on the stage in character. i knew i had to. i couldn't be me then stand and be her. that's just not how it's done. it was like walking through a mirror, and as soon as my feet hit the paint, i was her, whore and all. now keep in mind, i never really had theatre training. i was actually the only one of the 6 that didn't.
so one night during tech week, apperently the director had enough and had to say something. we were all on the floor getting our notes. he says my name and says how as soon as i hit the stage, i am in character. i hit the pose and i'm in character, and my energy shows through that character. i was just standing there! and he said that no one else was doing that! and it made me stand out as soon as i walked on stage!
wow... never saw that one coming! i was just doing what an actress was supposed to do. i was very flattered by this comment and will never forget it. all this time i just thought i was at the lower level of acting, when, in fact, i was getting up there with the better ones! and i've had other comments that said how much energy i had, just standing there! so i have come to ease at having energy with this character, for i do believe it is a natural thing (would it be if i had no idea i was doing it?) for me to have energy. now i just need to obsorb the character, and i will succeed in my acting.
although i can't wait for the next play where i get to be crazy again! haha~!

my crazy life begins

and my husband gets stuck with the dog...
sounds like a good title for a book huh! well, for now it will have to do for the title of my life, or blog. whichever...

i am writing on my new laptop! ok, it's not new, but it's new to me. and it's a good thing i have it or i wouldn't be getting much done right now as i am not feeling well, that kind where you are still chilled, even under four layers of blankets, and your eyes water for no reason, and your throat just craves salt. and now i can lay under these four layers of blankets and STILL work ono the internet!
Thursday was the first day of many many busy days to come. we had our first readthrough for "Curious Savage" and i'm stoked to start blocking and working with such a talented cast! once this show ends, the next one begins... and then i go on vacation... then the next show begins, if i'm able to be in that one as well. ah, the joys of theatre! i love it.
i still have company meetings. i don't know how often this is going to happen, but i was an idiot at the last meeting and volunteered to be in charge of archiving our newly formed theatre. it was my idea. i feel something like this needs to be saved. it's a big deal! especially if we become something that EVERYONE wants to audition for and we sell out every night. that would be cool! so now i have to work on getting the props that are slowing coming in cataloged, plus, start looking for props for the first show. my frustration with this is that there's some communication that's not going on, or involving me, AKA props manager. hmmm... anyway, i now must find time to hang out on the internet to find stuff.
on top of all the stuff i am now involved with the theatre, i still have my stampin up business. and i'm probably going to be advertising in this one little newsletter, that might start bringing more mula my way! i lost money last year. long story. anywho, i have to now work around my theatre schedule. fun times!
so on top of everything that is going on in the evenings and weekends, things at my full time job have taken a turn as well. they did some reorging within the department, and i was given the middle position of being the communicator for group 1 field people. yeah, that kept be busy. every week, we have lost an associate due to better opportunity. yeah, so what once was 6 people processing payroll (not including managers and projects) we are now 3. so this means that i am now the communicator for the whole world as my boss put it. yeah. i've been busy. no wonder i don't feel well!
the good news is this is a short work week for me and my hubby. much needed, i do feel. we are taking thursday and friday off. not going anywhere, just taking it off. i might paint my office. we'll see though.
so that's my current status of life. i'm hoping with the laptop that i will be able to blog more. not that anyone really reads it. but i guess that's not the point. it's just to write down thoughts, and make realization of just how much is going on in my life right now. sigh...

so much to say

yes, i have been away for quite some time. this blog can get very long, if i decide to share everything! i'm hoping i will be able to blog more, even though i'm going to be very very busy! how is this possible? two reasons. 1. we FINALLY got cable, internet! oh my gosh it is so much faster i just love it! 2. i'm buying my friend's laptop today! yeah, it's older, yeah, it's used, but it's a start! this will help me out so much in the future!

so, Pedroia's doing great. we enjoy having her. my husband just took her for a run, and she will be wiped out the rest of the day! it's great! his goal is to get her up to do the long saturday runs. we'll see though. she was very whiney at night but she's getting much much better! now she just cries in the morning cause she has to go outside. i love her to death though, and my husband actually said he loved her too!

this is the silly puppy! she was being very stuborn and wouldn't come. so she just sat down and didn't even move for 15 minutes! she's crazy. she was so cute though, i had to get a pic!

As you read in the blog before, i'm in a theatre company. and since it's new, the company members are working very hard to get the theatre up and running for our first show! we are basically turning an empty service garage in to a 150 (i think) seater auditorium and art room! it's slowly getting there, but i think we will be able to accomplish it! we don't really have much of a choice right now do we! anyway, i am props master for the company. so i get to be in charge of all our props! this will be a good challenge for me. i start rehearsals finally on the 7th! i've been so anxious to start!

i've had so much i wanted to blog in the past month. just random thoughts i have on my drives to and from work. but by the time i get home, i'm too tired, my husband's on the computer, i have to watch the dog, still working on the trust thing with her, and have many other things going on that i forget when i get home! so instead of writing my thoughts down, which is what i wanted, i'm stuck writing what's going on in my life. oh well. please see the link on the side for the theatre website and please come support it!