fluffer nutters and altitude

fluffer nutter? what? yeah, that's what i said the first time i went to rehearsal as stage manager for my friend's play he wrote and directed. so i asked him what it was. he was totally shocked i've never had a fluffer nutter. so i found out it's a sandwich made of peanut butter and marshmallow creame. so i ventured out and tried it. not bad! now i tried it in ohio, and have not had them since.
so i'm at my friends house here in CO. we start talking about food. probably because we were both starving and it wasn't until after the mention of fluffer nutters that we realized this. she didn't know what it was either, so i told her about it. she was intrigued. we were going to make one, but we were shy the marshmallows and didn't want to go out. it was a lazy night.
three days later, it's a weekend. Sony, Burton, you will appriciate this! my husband was back from his business trip. we were sitting on the couch, and i looked over to him and told him i was craving fluffer nutters. he, at least, knew what i was talking about. we hadn't had lunch (or was it dinner?) yet, so he said that actually sounded good, so we went to the store and got the fluffer to our nutter! we get back and i start to make the sandwiches. so i twist off the lid of the fluffer and start to pull back on one of the tabs to get that seal thing off. i get a little bit off, and try to get the rest off when all of a sudden the fluffer starts rising out of the little hole that i had made in the seal! it just kept growing! it just kept getting taller! it ididn't even fall over the side! it wouldn't stop! it was ALIVE!!!!!!!!! it was actually quite cool to watch. so i use some of this for the sandwich so i could get the rest of the seal off. it still doesn't stop, and i'm struggling with the rest of the seal. i make another small hole, yet unsuccessful at getting the whole thing off. and yes, more started to come out of that! it was never ending! FINALLY i am able to get the entire seal off, and the fluffer stopped rising. whew! i guess it was under a little pressure at 5,000 ft! i was finally able to make our sandwiches and enjoy them, with no fluffer going to waste. it was quite entertaining though!

alone

i hate being alone. last night, there were high winds, that kept me up. no one here to protect me. yes, from the wind. that made the house creek. made the sleep hard to come. tonight, i am yet alone again. i am so sad, for no other word comes to my mind. no, he has not left me, well, yes, he has, but it was work related, no worries. however, now i just mope around the house. eat way too much food, that isn't really satisfying. i watch sappy movies, that he wouldn't enjoy. and then i find myself crying at them. it is late, so the tv goes off. i go upstairs to my empty bedroom, sit on my bed, and find myself crying, lost in thought, missing my love. so i come here, to at least write something. whatever comes to the fingers i guess. i am homesick. i really only have a few friends that i would hang out with here. i can count them on one hand and not even use all the fingers. i have been hanging out with one, however, she is finishing college and can't spend all her spare time with me. this makes me even more homesick. the fact i have no one to hang out with at night. i've gotten lazy. the dishes have not been done. my laundry sits in the basement from a week ago. he will be back tomorrow. i want to go home. where i can count my friends on both my hands and feet. i want to be with my friends as they have babies, get married, get cast in shows, get broken-hearted. i want to live my life with them again. to see them in person all the time. not just a couple hours as i try to see everyone i can in three days. i want to be back home with them. but i can't leave my love here. for i know i would be even more empty than i am now if i should move back home. i am sad. i am lonely. i am sick. he will be home tomorrow. i even miss my job, as much as i was looking for a new job then. i miss the stories. the late night parties. the dance clubs. the bars. i'm missing babies, marriage, heartbreak, joy, accomplishment, sorrow. i make no sense. the fingers to the typing. it is late. i have hardly slept this week. i am alone in a huge house, which makes me even more lonely. i will wake with puffy eyes and a headache, force myself out of bed and go to the job that seems to be a dead end. i can't go anywhere else. i don't have the experience or degree. i can't go to college, for my love will be going soon. we can't both go. i hardly see him now. i won't see him then. i am alone with my thoughts. not a good place to be. alone.