thoughts in the night

i was laying here reading my lines and started thinking about this role compared to other roles. this one's more serious. she doesn't have the little crazy things almost all my other characters had. then i started thinking about energy. how am i to get this calm character to have energy on stage? i do believe this will be one of the great challenges with this role. then i started reminissing on my other roles and the notes i recieved in the past. and i remember one very distinctly. i was in oklahoma. i was a dancer, and danced the can can scene. although i was not one of the three main dancers for that sequence. there were four of us that were not. and we each came on stage at different times, stood in a pose until it was time for all of us to dance. the director of this show is a fabulous director, and well respected. he's not one to point out a specific person and compliment them in front of the entire cast. let me just tell you what happened.
being a can can girl, i figured they were pretty seductive. so i thought to myself how would i stand if i were a real can can? so i go through some poses in my mind and decided when i got on stage to but my right hand on my hip, cross my left hand over to the right hand, and stand leaning a little to the right. and had a look only a can can can have on my face. and i stuck with that pose. but what i didn't realize was i was even walking to that position on the stage in character. i knew i had to. i couldn't be me then stand and be her. that's just not how it's done. it was like walking through a mirror, and as soon as my feet hit the paint, i was her, whore and all. now keep in mind, i never really had theatre training. i was actually the only one of the 6 that didn't.
so one night during tech week, apperently the director had enough and had to say something. we were all on the floor getting our notes. he says my name and says how as soon as i hit the stage, i am in character. i hit the pose and i'm in character, and my energy shows through that character. i was just standing there! and he said that no one else was doing that! and it made me stand out as soon as i walked on stage!
wow... never saw that one coming! i was just doing what an actress was supposed to do. i was very flattered by this comment and will never forget it. all this time i just thought i was at the lower level of acting, when, in fact, i was getting up there with the better ones! and i've had other comments that said how much energy i had, just standing there! so i have come to ease at having energy with this character, for i do believe it is a natural thing (would it be if i had no idea i was doing it?) for me to have energy. now i just need to obsorb the character, and i will succeed in my acting.
although i can't wait for the next play where i get to be crazy again! haha~!