go back to sleep

i've decided to write at lunch today. today is not a good day for me. not sure why. ok, i have some issues that came up that have really pissed me off, more at the fact that i screwed it up, than someone yelling at me. maybe some of it is from the lack of sleep. haven't had a good nights sleep since vacation. wait, was i on vacation? maybe it's a lot of things and they have hit at once so i am having a hard time seperating things. i woke up this morning not wanting to go to work. i just wanted to go back to sleep and sleep ALL DAY for the next 5 days. that should've been the sign that it was going to be a crappy day. forgot we had this breakfast with HR and i looked like such a bumb today. oh well. then we had to say who was our biggest influence and i said my brother through major tears. i actually couldn't even get it out. but then i didn't explain why, but most of them know so it was ok. so now i keep thinking of that (not that that is what is putting me in a bad mood) then i get back to my desk and my supervisor emailed me on this issue and basically made me feel like i was the darkest crayon in the box. she even reminded me of the tip, and i explained to her at least two times that i didn't know it was suchnsuch (confidential payroll stuff, sorry) and that it wasn't communicated to me that way so i was just doing what i have bene trained on. and when she sent me the tip i told her that yeah, i might not be the brightest crayon in the box but i did know what tip. i probably shouldn't have said what i did, but i'm so tired of being treated like that. she does it to me all the time. and then they wonder why i'm always so hard on myself. i'll probably get written up or talked to this afternoon. but i don't care. i just don't care. there are other factors behind this issue that had me stirred up as well, so, yeah. i think i just need to go to sleep and rejuvinate my life.
on a side note, there is this guy that always parks his car outside my window and it cracks me up. he has two cars. one is very old and not even a classic or kept up well. then he has this probably 90's saturn station wagon. what is funny about this guy is that he puts a car cover over it. he even has a lock for it. ok, really? oh if i had a picture. he will come out at lunch or something and debate with himself if he should put the cover on, leave the cover on, take the cover off. he'll walk away, then walk back, then walk away again, then walk back. and just stare at his car. sometimes he walks all around it. sometimes when it's windy, the entire cover is over the front hood of the car. since it has a wire that goes underneith it that locks it, it doesn't blow off. it get's stuck in the tires. it's very amusing. his saturn has an atennea, and so it looks like this big tent.
i just want to go home. i really can't because things were missed on the payroll (ironically not my fault) and i have to do about 20 manual checks. jealous aren't you! so i guess i'll end my lunch, suffer through the day, and hope tonight i sleep the entire night (HA!) and have a better day tomorrow. after all! it will be friday! *sigh*