always average

so i was hoping this would be a happy and exciting blog, but it's not going to be. i auditioned for Damn Yankees this weekend and was not cast. and she continued to tell me on the voice mail that they did enjoy my audition, they just ran out of good roles.but they really want me to come back and audition for Fiddler in the spring where there are more roles available.ARG! ok, i was going to be happy with just a dancer, but i didn't even get that. and unfortunately it was a voice mail, so i was unable to ask just how personal was that voice mail? do they really want me to come back, where they really trying to cast me or is that what they told everyone? of course a theatre's going to want people to keep auditioning. whether they are good or not. this is the second musical i have not been able to get cast in. and what makes it more frustrating is i have been cast in every other musical i have auditioned for. it's days like these i wish i was a guy, where the competition is not as threatening. i would probably be cast if i was a guy. i'm just tired of being that average person. i'm even like that at work, but i won't get into that. just borderline of getting a role, but there's just that one person who is slightly better than me. ARG! i wish my husband would get a big raise so i could go back and get a degree in theatre. THEN i might actually be that person who just beat out the average girl. but i'm getting old. and i keep thinking i'm still young enough. but really, i'm not. i know, just keep trying. i've been doing that my whole life and never seem to cross that line. ok, i've been able to cross it once, when i was a lead, but there were three females. i've been pushed back so far now though, i don't know if i will ever get to that spot again. i want to be that person that everyone thinks they won't get in becuase i will get the role. i want to be that threat. but i'm not. i'm just average...